


Well, this is surprising

by GaleStorm



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, BAMF Bilbo Baggins, F/M, Female Bilbo, How Do I Tag, Reincarnation, Thranduil is a Troll, no seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-11
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-01 03:40:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,930
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5190788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaleStorm/pseuds/GaleStorm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For some reason Frerin finds himself reincarnated. How he doesn't know(Mahal, Iluvatar, weird food, weird drink?). All he knows is that he's back as a human and going to make dang sure that broody of his, their nephews, and the rest of the company doesn't get killed. He just wishes it wasn't easier said than done.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

A man was walking in the shire. He was a bit short compared to other human men. The hobbits didn't even spare him a second glance-being so used to his visits. He had brown hair pulled back with a leather rope. He was tan and had a long broad sword. But the most noticable feature was his bright red eyes. His name was Fendral and he was a ranger from Bree. He was visiting his friend Bilbo Baggins.

Fendral was just at the gate of Bag-end when he saw two dwarves. Who are they and why are they here? He wondered. "Scuse me who are you?" 

The dwarves turned when he spoke. One had long blonde hair and beard. The other had dark brown hair and not much of a beard. The blonde one spoke up first, "I'm Fili-" then the other "and I'm Kili at your service." Well that answers one of my questions. 

"Let's get inside, Bilbo was expecting me so she might have food ready." Fendral opened the door and saw Bilbo looking frantic. Fendral raised a eyebrow, "What's wrong Bilbo? Why are ya panicking?" 

Bilbo looked at him. "I-i'm panicking because there's two dwarves in my kitchen, eating the food set out!" 

Fendral gained an annoyed look," Don't worry Bilbo. I'll deal with them" With that he stormed the kitchen. "OI WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR DOING? Why are you here and don't you know any manners!" 

The dwarves looked at him now looking a little embarrassed. The one with white hair spoke, "Sorry lad, I'm Balin, this is my brother Dwalin." Fendral sized up Dwalin and any weapons he could see. I could take him, thought Fandral.

"Balin was it? Can you tell me why you're here?" Bilbo came in as Fendral asked that.

~Time skip of the other dwarves plus Gandalf coming and after dinner~

Fendral learned what was going on from Gandalf and shook his head. " Gandalf this will either go great or kill somebody. It's a good thing I've been teaching Bilbo how to fight since I met her 5 years ago." He cast a look to Gandalf that said exactly just how much he likes this idea.

Gandalf's eyes twinkled brightly(WAIT! Oh crap Gandalf's pulling a Dumbledore). "My dear boy why don't you come with? You are a ranger so your knowledge would be useful." Fendral took one look at Gandalf and knew there was no point in arguing. "Fine but it's probably not likely that i'm going to get along with any of them." Bilbo then decided to show up wringing her hands nervously.

Fendral didn't pay attention to what they were talking about. That is he wasn't until Ori walked up asking about his plate. Then the singing began:

Blunt the knives bend the forks

Smash the bottles and burn the corks

Chip the glasses and crack the plates

Cut the cloth and trail the fat

Leave the bones on the bedroom mat

Pour the milk on the pantry floor

Splash the wine on every door

Dump the crocks in a boiling bowl

Pound them up with a thumping pole

And when your finished if their whole

Send them down the hall to roll

That's what Bilbo Baggins hates

Fendral was laughing by the end of it, thoroughly enjoying the little song. Their so much fun, this isn't going to be as bad as I thought, he thought with glee.

*KNOCK*

Everyone became serious with that one knock. Guess that's the last member of the company, thought Fendral as he went with Bilbo to answer the door. 

As soon as Fendral saw the Dwarf behind the door, his mind soon became flooded with memories.


	2. Chapter 2

Fandral's pov

I stumbled as my memories as my memories of my life as Frerin came back. I knocked into a side table and steadied myself. Bilbo fluttered around him worried. "Fandral are you alright?" she asked as her voice got higher pitched. Nodding weakly I turned to Thorin my brother! "Sorry bout that, I don't do that usually. I'm Fandral son of Soran." I continued to freak out in my head.

Thorin gave me a once over before turning to Bilbo. He looked very unimpressed with her, "Gandalf, this is supposed to be the burglar? She looks more like a grocer or a milkmaid than a burglar." Both Bilbo and I gained cross looks. Oi! You may be my brother but who gave you the right to talk to Bilbo like that, I thought dispelling my panic.

Bilbo snapped, "Excuse me, but for the past five years I've been learning how to fight under Fandral. So don't you dare underestimate me you annoying son of an orc!" I grinned manically at her. Finally! Some back bone! Looking over at Thorin, it seems like he gained a bit of respect for her. Feeling eyes on me, I turned to see Gandalf staring at me with a strange look in his eyes. Crap, I thought, he's suspicious.

Gandalf cleared his throat, "Well now, why don't we move this into dining room with the others?" We all calmed down.

"So WHY are you in my/her home," asked Bilbo and I simultaneously. Please tell me that their not going to do what I think they will, I pleaded mentally. I was not comforted by the look on Thorin's face.

Thorin bluntly told us, "We need a burglar to steal something from a dragon in order to get back our mountain." ARE YOU FREAKING SERIOUS I yelled in my head. "It's very valuable and if we get take it from the dragon the other dwarves will rally and help us."

They proceeded to give Bilbo the contract. Her eyes got wider and wider as she read it. "Funeral arrangements, incineration," she squeaked out.

"Think furnace with wings," Bofur pointed out to her. Bilbo's eyes got exceptionally wide, then fainted.

A few minutes later she woke up and talked to Gandalf. He tried to convince her to come, bringing up her mothers' adventuring. She refused however, but I saw the spark in her eye. I smiled thinking to myself, now all we need is a little push.

My brother and the others slowly gathered to sing Misty Mountains. Giving Bilbo a glance I saw that she was going with us. Helloo little push, I thought gleefully.

*Next Morning*

I woke up and saw I was still in the chair I sat in last night. Looking up I saw Bilbo standing in the middle of the room. I spoke up, "Hey Bilbo if we hurry we can still catch up with them." She spun over to me and looked at my eyes and grinned.

We raced out the door with the contract flying behind her in her hand. Thorin you better survive this journey, I thought. Another hobbit loudly asked where we were going. Bilbo yelled back, "We're going on an adventure!"


	3. Lots of Talking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It involves traveling, stoping, and Fendral going to Bilbo to advice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sup people. Sorry for being a while but I had school and finals to do. Plus helping my sister move to California for her internship. 
> 
> Disclaimer: Don't own the Hobbit. The rights belong to the respective owners.

Fendral officially hated the rain. It hasn’t stopped for the past week and by the looks of it everyone else was tired of it as well. He would have said something but he was too wrapped up in his thoughts. Ok I’m now on a fool’s errand with my brother, nephews, and old friends. Now I have to keep them from dying. Which will unfortunately will be harder than I want it to be. I should probably get some help but who. All of the dwarrows are out. They wouldn’t believe me and even if they did, Thorin won’t with that thick head of his. He then sighed and looked back to Bilbo who looked just as miserable as he did.

His eyes then widened in realization and he brought a hand to his head. I really should have thought of her first, he thought. He then paid attention to Bilbo who currently looked like a wet kitten. “Excuse me Gandalf. But are there anymore wizards like you?”

Gandalf went and explained how there were four other wizards besides him. Bilbo made a sassy comment that Fendral thought helped manage Gandalf’s ego. They rode on for a few more hours. The rain had stopped, but the sun had set so they made camp at a rocky area they found. Fendral casually walked over to Bilbo and said, “I need to talk to you alone for a minute Bilbo.”

Curious, the hobbit followed him to a private spot not too far off from the others. Fendral turned to her and started to freak out. “Bilbo I have no idea what to do!” he yelled out before his speech turned into incoherent rambling. Bilbo stood there for a few seconds, staring blankly, before standing on her tip toes and slapping him.

That caused Fendral to snap out of it and calm down. He spoke, “Sorry and thanks for the slap. I needed it. Anyway, remember back at your house and I stumbled when we say Thorin?” She nodded and he continued, “Well that was me remembering my past life as Frerin, brother to Thorin and Dis and uncle to Fili and Kili. I’m now freaking out because how am I supposed to approach this? Do I keep it hidden, reveal it, or something else?”

Bilbo looked shocked but snapped out of it and put on her thinking face. She ‘hmmed’ and then had an ‘aha’ face. Calmly she said, “I think you shouldn’t reveal yourself. At least, not yet. He wouldn’t believe you and probably would lash out. Especially since one, you aren’t a Dwarf anymore and two, your personality has most likely changed some since you were Frerin. Try and make friends with him first. To, you know, make him more comfortable around you.”

Fendral thought about it and agreed. It’s probably the best course of action for this situation. Besides, I haven’t heard of any other cases of reincarnation before, he thought. He then heard rustling in the bushes behind them. With one finger to his lips to shush Bilbo, he bent down and grabbed two small rocks. Then he threw them to the bushes which resulted in two yelps of pain being heard.

Walking over to the bushes, Fendral bent down and grabbed into the bushes. When he stood up, Bilbo saw that it was Fili and Kili being held from their shirts by Fendral.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't really a busy chapter. Just a way for Frerin to know how to handle the 'I am a reincarnation of a prince and my past life's brother and my nephews are basically walking to their deaths' situation.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A short little talk between Fandral, Kili, Fili. Bilbo doesn't really show up.

“What are two doing?” asked Fandral angrily. 

Fili and Kili seemed to sweat in fear as they stared up at him. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. We certainly didn’t get curious about you and Bilbo wandering off, follow you, and eavesdrop only to find out you’re our reincarnated dead uncle,” rambled Kili. That earned him a glare from his brother.

Fandral just sighed. “Listen I know this is a big shock. Who wouldn’t be. And you probably want to tell the others immediately. But this needs to be handled with care because of how particularly stubborn this group is. I can’t just blurt it out along with my secret name. So could you keep quiet? At least for now?” The two nodded in agreement. “Now let’s get back to camp.” With that Fandral walked over to the others with the other three following.

Balin looked up and asked, “Where were you four doing?”

“Just talking.” The four of them said at once. They then sat down around the fire.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> GUESS WHO FINALLY GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL! Me. Which I'm very happy about. Especially since I thought I was going to fail my web design class. But I passed with a D.
> 
> Anyway, it's been a while since I updated since. Sorry bout that but I had writer's block and so much schoolwork because of senior year. But I'm back and hopefully can find a more regular update schedule for my fics.


	5. Chapter 5

"What's with your eyes?"

 

Fendral startles slightly and looks up at Kili. "What?"

 

Kili asks again, "What's with your eyes? I've never seen or heard of someone who wasn't an orc with red eyes before." The others of the company nodded as they were curious as well.

 

"The story isn't all that interesting," explained Fendral, "Some elves were investigating some gems and such that were naturally fused with magic. I knew the area decently and they asked me to come for a bit of extra protection. Of course it wasn't until a week in did we found out about the side effects. Luckily it was nothing harmful but some did end things like tails, strangely colored hair or eyes, or extra abilities. I just so happened to end up with red eyes and night vision."

 

Dwalin spoke up, "Night vision? That sounds like it could-" He was interrupted by multiple loud growls in the distance.

 

"What was that?" asked Bilbo looking very alarmed.

 

Putting on a joke solemn face Kili answered, "Wargs. Looking for prey no doubt. Along with orcs." That alarmed Bilbo even more.

 

"Stop that!" snapped out Thorin, which made everyone look at him, "This is not some game where you can tread lightly." With that he walked to the edge of the camp and they fell into silence. Fili and Kili silently did as he said.

 

After a few moments Bilbo spoke up, "He's quite angry."  _Something that hasn't changed in the time I was dead and didn't remember,_ Fendral thought to himself. Thorin had been a grumpy person but he was happy. Before Smaug came and took everything. Before the battle at Moria with Azog. Part of the reason Fendral had pranked so much was to try and get his brother to smile and laugh more often.

 

Balin responded, "He's been under a lot of stress since Smaug took our home. Trying to care for our people, finding a new place to call home, and getting enough food. One of our attempts to settle was at the mines known to many as Moria. Thorin, some of the company, and Thorin's younger brother Frerin were a part of the group to try and claim it but there were many orcs making the battle long." Bilbo's eyes flickered to Fendral briefly when she heard the name Frerin but he wasn't looking at her. As soon as Balin said Moria, Frendral was caught up in memories.

 

_Frerin was exhausted. The battle had been going on for too long and he was running on fumes. He didn't know how long he could go on before he collapse. Something he was trying not to do with the seemingly endless amount of orcs. He could see his brother and Dwalin not too far from him as he separated another head from an orc._

_  
However with his mind momentarily distracted, an orc's club rammed into his legs causing him to fall to his knees. But that's also when he saw Azog the Defiler come at him with his mace raised. Frerin's last thought was 'My brother better not do anything stupid or I will come back from the grave and kill him myself'._

 

Fendral came back to the present when Bilbo gave his arm a light touch. "Are you alright?" she asked looking quite worried. He nodded and gave her a strained smile he hoped was believable. She didn't seem to believe him but didn't push it.


	6. Chapter 6

It had been a few days since the Battle of Moria was told. That time was spent in a rather heavy silence.Or it had been until-

 

“Fendral?” Came a hesitant sounding Ori. 

 

Looking back, Fendral cocked his head to the side. “Yes Ori?” he replied kindly. Fendral was reminded greatly of his younger human brother whenever he talked to the young dwarf.

 

Ori brightened at that and inquired, “How did you and Bilbo meet? Because I heard you mention you’ve been training her for a few years now?”

 

“Oh?” drawled Fendral, “Well we met each other around 10 years ago at the start of my ranger training. My mentor and I were passing through the Shire when I accidentally bumped into her. I apologized a lot. She accepted it and invited me and my mentor over for tea. We’ve been friends ever since. It was a pretty simple way of becoming friends.”

 

Ori asked excitedly, “Ranger training? What’s that-” He was cut off by a stop gesture from Thorin. It was then that the company noticed they were near a destroyed farm.

 

“We’ll stop here for tonight,” declared Thorin. He dismounted his pony with the rest of the company following suit. They were all quick to unload the ponies to set up camp, all ready for a break.

 

Gandalf on the other hand insisted, “We should keep moving ahead. Something isn’t right here. The way this farm was destroyed wasn’t natural and whatever did it could still be close by. If we leave quickly we can find shelter in the Hidden Valley with the elves. They could help decipher the map.” At this moment Fendral noticed Gandalf looked rather apprehensive.

 

Thorin however didn’t notice, instead became angry. “I won’t seek help from the elves. They done nothing for us and would stop us.”

 

“Well then,” Gandalf snapped back, “If your going to let dwarf stubbornness control you, I will be leaving. To be in company more pleasant.”

 

“And whose company would that be?” asked Fendral.

 

Gandalf replied, “My own of course!”

 

*time skip*

 

“Hey Bilbo and Fendral?”

 

The two looked looked up from the remnants of their soup to see Bofur standing in front of them. He was holding two bowls of soup. “Yes?” they asked simultaneously.

 

Bofur held the bowls out to them and asked, “Could you take these to Fili and Kili? They’ve been watching the ponies and haven’t gotten any yet.”

 

The two nodded, took the bowls, and went over to the two princes quickly. However when they got close they noticed the concerned expressions Fili and Kili had. Bilbo called out, “What’s wrong you two?” That made them jump.

 

Sighing, Kili says, “We’re supposed to be looking after the ponies.”   
  
Kili continues, “Only, we’ve encountered a slight problem.”

 

“We had seventeen.”

 

“Now we have fifteen.”

**Author's Note:**

> Check out my tumblr!
> 
> http://ghastlygalestorm.tumblr.com/


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